Q: What power requirements do you require on stage?
A: At least two 13 amp sockets – preferably four.
NB: Please ensure generators for marquees are up to the job – nobody likes the panic and carnage that ensues during a total black out 😉

Q: How big a performance area do you need?
A: Preferably 4m x 2m minimum but we can play on a postage stamp if required. Take a look at this>>> set up example

Q: Do you need actual staging?
A: No

Q: Can you play music in between live sets?
A: Yes. We are not DJs but let’s face it, it’s really easy!

Q:What happens if one of your members is sick – do you have back up musicians?
A: Yes – they are available at short notice though it has to be said it has happened once in 6 years. The show must go on!

Q: My future wife and I both have left-feet and are very bad dancers. We’d like to get the first dance over and done with asap. Any suggestions?
A: Counter-intuitively, we’d recommend an uptempo song – That way, you’ll soon be joined on the dancefloor by your guests, thereby taking the spotlight off you and your terrible dancing! Anyhow, you should know: Nobody can dance – except show-offs! …and nobody likes a show-off!

PS Most people leave the first dance/I-pod with the best man to give us… or a friend or a relative … the bride’s father perhaps? or the groom’s father …. as long as it is somebody responsible.

Q: Can we bring our own I-pod with our own playlists?
A: Of course. We have the facility to play audio/mp3s and a pod base unit with the relevant connections.

Q. Do you have Public Liability Insurance ?
A. Yes – You can download it here

Q. Is your equipment PAT tested ?
A. Yes – You can download it here

Q: We’ve seen you play live and your set rocks, can you play some older stuff for the relatives at our party.
A: Of course. Trust us, we’re not idiots you know.

Q: How did you become so talented?
A: Well mum, it’s because of your nurturing and support when I was going through my difficult teenage years.

Q: – in drunken voice – ‘ere….’ere …’ere do you know…burp! that song by woshish-name?….errr..incomprehensible noise – you know!!! – slurring – attempt at singing… attempt at grabbing the mic etc.
A: I’m sorry sir, you’re interrupting our flow of creativity. Would you kindly make your way to the back of the auditorium?

Q: I am having my wedding in Kazakstan, what arrangements do I need to make to transport your dancing bear?
A: See diagram

Q: The venue is on the first floor and there is only an escalator for access. Will that be a problem?
A: Rest assured, our skilled crew will able to navigate the escalator with ease.

Q: Some of my partner’s family are socially inept and apt to cause trouble, do you have any suggestions?
A: Let’s keep them off the “fizzy drinks”…

Q: Do you think I may have been a little optimistic about losing enough weight to fit into my size 8 dress
A: No, you look fine

Q: Do you think the red/white floral combo detracts from the overall concept?
A: No, it works!

Q: Do you need a dressing room?
A: Not really, but if there is one available, we’d rather not share with the catering staff again…

Q: We have children, can you provide some kind of creche facility?
A: Rest assured, our qualified child carer will able to take care of everything.

Q: Do you like Scotsmen?
A: They’re ok, but we prefer a quiet night in, having a nice drink and stuff

Q: What do you guys do in your spare time?
A: Nothing

Q: Uh???
A: ??? Yes, that’s right, a rubber pony!

Q: I am thinking of booking The Bears, what do I do next?
A: Send an email to our admin team. They are eagerly awaiting your

Q: What happens if we “drag our feet” while The Bears’ diary is filling fast?
A: You will end up getting this!

Q: I noticed that The Bears regularly play gigs for celebs, what do you think of Kylie Minogue? Is she a fan of bears.
A: Quite frankly we think Kylie Minogue is disgusting.

Supplementary questions – Science and Nature…

Q: Do you think the polar ice caps are melting?
A: It’s not looking good is it?

Q: Do Polar Bears like wine gums?
A: Yes they love them, so it’s important not to carry them in your pocket

Q: Do you have any pictures of polar bears attacking humans?
A: Yes

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