FAQ
Q: What power access do you require on stage?
A: Two 13 amp sockets would do the job.
Q: How big a performance area do you need?
A: Preferably 4m x 2m but we can play on a postage stamp if required. Take a look here for the ideal set up space.
Q: Do you need actual staging?
A: We can rock on *any surface (*as long as it’s flat and free of debris)
Q: Can you play music in between live sets?
A: Yes indeed. We have a party playlist of bangers ready for you and your guests!
Q: What happens if one of your members is sick – do you have back up bears?
A: Yes – they are wonderful and available at short notice. Though it has to be said it has happened only a few times in 15 years. The show must go on!
Q: My future wife / husband and I both have left-feet and are very bad dancers. We’d like to get the first dance over and done with asap. Any suggestions?
A: Counter-intuitively, we’d recommend an uptempo song. That way you’ll soon be joined on the dancefloor by your guests, thereby taking the spotlight off you and your terrible dancing! Anyhow, you should know: Nobody can dance – except show-offs!…and nobody likes a show-off!
ps. Most people leave the first dance ipod with the best man to give us…or a friend or a relative…the bride’s father perhaps? or the groom’s father… as long as it is somebody responsible.
Q: Can we bring our own ipod with our own playlists?
A: Of course. We can plug your phone / laptop / ipad / minidisc (remember those kids?!) into our system.
Q: Do you have Public Liability Insurance?
A: Yes indeedy.
Q: Is your equipment PAT tested?
A: Absopositivelylutely.
ps. Although (at the risk of being a pedant) PAT stands for ‘Portable Appliance Testing’, so tested is surplus to requirements in that sentence. An alternative could be - Has your equipment passed it’s PAT? It’s not a big deal, you know maybe just use that next time..
Q: We’ve seen you play live and your set rocks, can you play some older stuff for the relatives at our party?
A: Of course, did we not mention our Doctorate in Dancefloor Dynamics? Have you even SEEN our song-list?!
Q: How did you become so talented?
A: Well mum, it’s because of your nurturing and support when I was going through my difficult teenage years.
Q: ‘ere….’ere …’ere do you know…burp! that song by woshish-name?….errr..incomprehensible noise – you know!!! – slurring – attempt at singing… attempt at grabbing the mic etc.
A: I’m sorry sir, you’re interrupting our flow of creativity. Would you kindly make your way to the back of the auditorium?
Q: I am having my wedding in Kazakhstan, what arrangements do I need to make to transport your dancing bear?
A: See diagram.
Q: Some of my partners family are socially inept and likely to cause trouble, do you have any suggestions?
A: Let’s keep them off the “fizzy drinks” eh?…
Q: Do you think I may have been a little optimistic about losing enough weight to fit into my size 8 dress
A: No, you look fine.
Q: Do you think the red/white floral combo detracts from the overall concept?
A: No, it works!
Q: Do you need a dressing room?
A: Not really, but if there is one available, we’d rather not share with the catering staff again…
Q: We have children, can you provide some kind of creche facility?
A: Rest assured, our qualified child carer will take care of everything.
Q: Do you like Scotsmen?
A: They’re always a delight.
Q: What do you guys do in your spare time?
A: Nothing.
Q: Uh???
A: ??? Yes, that’s right, a rubber pony!
Q: I am thinking of booking The Bears, what do I do next?
A: Send an email to our admin team They are eagerly awaiting your
enquiry.
Q: I noticed that The Bears regularly play gigs for celebs, what do you think of Kylie Minogue? Is she a fan of bears?
A: Quite frankly we think Kylie Minogue is disgusting.
Supplementary questions – Science and Nature…
Q: Do you think the polar ice caps are melting?
A: It’s not looking good, is it?
Q: Do Polar Bears like wine gums?
A: Yes they love them, so it’s important not to carry them in your pocket!
Q: Do you have any pictures of polar bears attacking humans?
A: Yes!